The team at Opus have spoken to Humanist Celebrant, Karyn Dickie, for some top tips and advice on choosing a Humanist Celebrant to marry you!
So, you’ve just got engaged, woohoo ! Congratulations 💕
After you’ve said yes – phoned your family and friends and posted the awesome news on your socials it’s time to start making a list.
Venue …….Date ………..Dress ………..Flowers ……….Food ……………Entertainment ……….so many things to dream about. Thinking about my own experience, it was all about the dress ! I am crazy about bridal fashion and can spend hours looking through wedding photos on Instagram – even now after 17 years of marriage I am still utterly obsessed.
You start to picture the big day, where it will be, who will be there, what the styling will look like. You have a good idea of who you want in your wedding party and how the photos will look. You have probably lusted over wedding cake photos already.
What you probably haven’t thought about is who will actually marry you and does it even really matter ! Surely that bit is just the legal part – dotting the “i”s and crossing the “t”s ! Most couples don’t give it much thought and they certainly don’t think they can stamp their own personality on this part of the day, they don’t realise they can style the ceremony to suit them and their wedding. This is where your celebrant comes in.
I am going to be honest with you when I got married all those years ago I never really gave the ceremony that much thought. We were having a destination wedding and all my thoughts were about the dress, my shoes, the honeymoon, the party after and not forgetting marrying my best friend. I have no regrets at all and the lovely lady who married us was very sweet, but I can’t say I remember the words that were said. Would I like it to have had some words about us and who we were and why we were getting married – simple answer yes.
So why choose a humanist celebrant ?
Firstly, did you know you can get married anywhere in Scotland* with a humanist celebrant, and I mean anywhere. Up a mountain, in a boat, in your garden, on a train, in a club – you really can get married wherever your heart desires.
Having a celebrant means you get to tell your story and you can share as much or as little as you want. If you want everyone to know how and when you met and all the milestones that brought you to this moment then that is what you shall have. If you want it short and sweet go for it. Your story is why we celebrants do what we do – we love a love story and so will your guests, we will take time to get to know you and create a ceremony that captures your very essence. If we don’t then we are not the right match for you. You get to choose. Just like you research, test, sample and choose all your other suppliers don’t be afraid to do the same with your celebrant. Reach out and chat to celebrants, check their socials – find the right person for you.
A celebrant will be able to help guide you with the legal paperwork as well as all your ceremony details, so think of them as one of your early priorities. Knowing you have the legal bit locked down will give you peace of mind to enjoy all the fun stuff.
There are lots of ideas your celebrant will help you with not just writing your “story”. Your ceremony can incorporate family and friends in the form of a reading or a song. You can include symbolic gestures such as “exchanging rings”, “hand fasting” and “drinking from the quaich” …..and these are only a few. Do you want to include personal vows, lyrics from a song, quotes from the movie you saw on your first date ? You are only limited by your imagination. Want your dog or kids involved in the ceremony ? Do it. You tell us all your ideas and it is our job to incorporate them into your perfect script.
Picking the right celebrant should mean you get your ceremony your way so that it all ties in with the rest of your day.
When I am talking to my couples as we prepare to write their ceremony I am looking for those special moments when they catch each others eyes, shared moments that make them laugh or are poignant in some way – these are the stories your guests will adore. It is my job to capture the essence of you both and it is the best feeling ever when I know I have got it perfect.
Personally, I also believe with so many celebrants to choose from you should be able to pick a celebrant who matches both your personalities – why not ? It is your big day. Why would you pick someone formal and serious if the rest of your day is relaxed and chilled or why pick someone crazy and loud if you are going for formal and understated. What I am saying is us celebrants are all unique and completely different just like you and your other half so why wouldn’t you pick someone to suit.
Picking the right person for you both on your big day will set the tone.
The journey should also be fun. If you have picked well you should be able to ask your celebrant for advice and help all along the way and you should have no fears about tweaking your ceremony script until it is perfect.
I am sure you won’t settle on any other aspects for your day so please do not settle on this either. I became a celebrant simply because I love people and everything to do with weddings. I think your wedding should be as important to your suppliers as it is to you so don’t settle for anything less.
I am lucky to work with an amazing and talented group of celebrants as part of Fuze Ceremonies. You will find a whole range of personalities on our team – check us out at www.fuzeceremonies.co.uk
Date & Venue booked ✔ book your celebrant next then you can get their invaluable help and advice on your wedding journey. Covid times might mean restrictions at different times and locations so always check - Thankfully your celebrant can help with this too!
One Final Thought…
Your celebrant should become your friend; someone you can rely on and turn to but most of all they should create an unforgettable ceremony unique and true to you both.
Here’s to love !